Running through the pain of the past..

I awoke excited for my first 10k in a few years. I had been focusing so much on the longer distances that I rarely entered races for the shorter distances. Today I had one goal-To make a new personal record and complete my 10k in less than an hour. The weather was warm and the sun shone bright. I was excited about this race because my parents were also there to walk their first 5K in years. I walked to the starting line, adjusted my iPod, and got ready to run my fastest 10K. My focus was interrupted suddenly as my heart began to pound uncontrollably in my chest. I spotted an individual who had changed my life forever..and not in a good way..someone who had changed my perception of many things when I was just a child. I thought I was a past all that, I thought it didn't matter, then why was ,my heart pounding,? why did a wave of emotion come over me? anger was the most prevalent. The race began and my mind was still distracted. "Focus Michelle" I silently yelled at myself. I was going unusually fast as I desperately tried to keep up with those around me. "Let it go" three small powerful words were whispered in my ear "BUT,why?It's not right" "Let it go because it hurts no one but you" Sweat was now pouring down my face as I tried to find my pace. "Let it go " three small words that hold so much power. I realized that although I had let this issue and this person go years ago, but there would always be triggers and I would have to let it go many times. I began to understand even more that healing and forgiveness are a process and not a one-time event. "Let it go" I repeated. "It's yours again God" I whispered. Anger began to dissipate and I was covered with my favorite of all feelings- The peace that passes all understanding. My mind began to wander to happier things, to the blessings God has given me, to my amazing husband and beautiful kids, To my parents, who I saw just ahead of me on the race. As I approached them walking hand in hand I couldn’t help but be overwhelmingly touched. Touched by their love for each other, their commitment to our family and the years of wisdom, strength and character they each represented. “You’re doing great mom” I said as I touched my mom’s arm and ran by. I focused in on the race again and realized if I sped up I would be able to reach my goal of under one hour. “58 minutes” I heard the announcer say. “Push it Michelle, this is the time to give it all you‘ve got!” I sprinted past the girl in front of me and focused on the finish line. “Go Michelle, you’ve got this” I put every ounce of energy left in my body to reaching the finish line. I looked up at the clock as I passed the line it said 59:17 ! I did it! I was able to run past the pain, to the place of forgiveness and peace and finish my race stronger than ever.