Running, Trust and the Unknown Future..

Sometimes you just have  to write.  Write to sort out emotions ,  write to understand yourself better and write to more effectivly communicate your heart, your soul and your inner being. 

I ran another race today.. Big deal, you're thinking , you talk about running all the time. But what you may not understand is running is part of who I am. It pushes me to limits I never thought possible. Drives me to do things most people are crazy and helps to block out the noises of the world and to listen carefully for the still small voice of my creator. 

Today I ran with everything I had and still was slower than the same race last year.  But I know that I did all that I could to leave everything  out on the pavement. 

As my life is swirling around me and I am trying to make sense of the future I feel like God is saying "Do you trust me, no  I mean really trust me? Do you trust me in the big things, can you let go of everything EVEN what people think of you and trust my perfect plan?" Sometimes it is so easy to say  we trust God but when put to the test we fail. 

With each strike of my feet upon the pavement today my mind thought deeper into my past, present and unknown future. "What REALLY matters in life? Is it how good of mom and wife I am? Is it my friendships? Is it my family?  My leadership? Is it my title ? My career? My weight? My age? " 

Throughout the run I hear HIS voice again..."none of this matters if you don't first trust me, all the matters is my will, not what you think is my will, are you sure your dreams are my dreams?because I have bigger dreams  for you than you could ever imagine" 

Sweat drips down my face as I feel God revealing more to my fragile heart. "Stop focusing on what you don't have and focus on what you do have.. Look around and see the blessings I have given you, I love you so much" 

I let the thoughts, sweat and tears penetrate deeper into my soul and thanked God for so many things. 

Today may not have been a victory for running my fastest, but today was a victory in being able to run with joy, and have a heart that was finally ready to step off the cliff, jump and know that God is there to catch me.